On Relationships

With different seasons comes different struggles. I don't mean seasons like spring, summer, fall, or winter, though those certainly bring unique struggles of their own; I mean seasons of life. Right now Drex and I are in this really cool season. We're preparing to welcome this tiny little person into our lives, and there are a lot of changes that come with that. A new dynamic has been added to our relationship, one that you have no idea is there until suddenly it is and one that is so fun and so hard all at the same time. I've been blessed with a spouse who is my best friend, a man who loves me deeply for all that I am. He's patient and kind and forgiving. I've always known these things about him but throughout this pregnancy I've noticed them more. Perhaps it's because they've been exercised more (talk about mood swings galore) but nonetheless they're there. I love him the same and yet also differently as I watch him transform from husband to father, already excelling at both roles. I'm in so thankful for this sweet growing family of mine and I have fallen into the rhythm of preparing for all that's to come in these next few months.

While I fell into that rhythm though, I fell out of another. Relationships with others has been something I usually excel at until I don't and when I don't, I really don't. I'm a one extreme to another kind of person when it comes to relationships and finding the middle ground has always been difficult for me. I'm on a different planet at the moment, my conversations are about diapers, babies, birth, cribs, birth classes, etc. More often than not I am tired, growing a person is hard work mind you! But that tiredness means quietness, it means preferring to stay home versus going out. It means no phone calls, and short texts. It means slowly but surely pushing people away because people are exhausting. And yet I know people are worth it. I've been blessed with patient friends, who give me space when I so desperately need it, but who don't give up on me either. Friends who ask me how I'm doing, how my relationships are going, and let me babble on until I've exhausted the topic. Friends who are constantly praying for me and my family. And if you're one of those people, know that I SO appreciate you. You are valued and deeply loved and you are worth it. Thanks for being patient with me, it means the world.